Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
