there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
