So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
