my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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