i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
