You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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