If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dick very happy bro
Randomize