My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
