u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
