I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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