Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
