We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
How external is "for external use only"?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
