Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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