he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
