Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
