Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
