I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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