I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Of course I have a pirate flag
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I would ride that face into the sunset
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
