I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
