She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
