her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
grandma shit on top of the toilet
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
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judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
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He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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