I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
