I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
