ya dads aren't the best wingmen
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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