I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
