then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
