I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
