we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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