there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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