It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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