I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
