We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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