I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
