So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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