good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
