bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
is that a dick in a sweater?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
