no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
