My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
