yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
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My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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