i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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