how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
