so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
