Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
