he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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