i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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