shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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