Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
