She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize