Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
