guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
