You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
