my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
