I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
