I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
