Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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