i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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