So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
