I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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