Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
