Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
